


where did you go?

by MythologicalHoe



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Amnesia, Angst with a Happy Ending, Badass Rey, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Injury Recovery, Kylo Ren Has Issues, Kylo Ren Redemption, Major Character Injury, Memory Loss, Rey Needs A Hug
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-22
Updated: 2019-03-23
Packaged: 2019-11-27 22:47:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,329
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18200042
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MythologicalHoe/pseuds/MythologicalHoe
Summary: Rey loses her memory after being in an explosion near an orphanage, Kylo Ren is left to pick up the pieces and ask is this war really worth it?





	1. Chapter 1

“We have to get out of here,” Poe shouted over the barrage of fire that was raining down on the field. Rose, Finn, Poe, and Rey were all stuck in one of the trenches, trying to survive just long enough for the AT-AT units to have to recharge so they could run. Rey wasn’t scared though, not for herself. They waited there in silence for a long time when Rey heard something. She risked looking over the barrier for one second to see what was happening. Corellia had an orphanage just beyond the battlefield. What she heard was children screaming. She realized that the barrage of fire that they were getting was distracting everyone from something else.  

“Rey, don’t. You’re not going to make it.” They were going to take the children. Finn grabbed Rey’s arm. “We can get them back; this isn’t the time right now.” She stood back from the ladder. 

“They’re going to take them, Finn. Just like they took you, what the hell is wrong with you?” Rey knew that that was a low blow. She didn’t care. 

“You won’t be able to make it. You don’t need to needlessly risk your life, we can get them later.”   

“Fine.”  

“Good.” When he turned to make sure that Rose was alright, she lifted herself up and over the barrier. She didn’t have a lightsaber to protect her, but she didn’t care. That wasn’t going to stop her from doing the right thing. She ran faster than she had ever run before, even when she ran from attackers in the desert that were jealous of the amount of scraps that she was able to scavenge.  

She wasn’t running away from anything, though. Anger swelled in her as she zig-zagged.   _ Stop doing this.  _ It had been months since the last time that Kylo had even attempted to talk to Rey. Now, it was clear that he didn’t care. He was just trying to get his way. Make a point. He could do what he wanted now, without repercussion. _  You’re not going to make it.  _ Rey ignored him. Why wouldn’t she?  

She could hear the screams of children ringing in her ears. She wasn’t going to stand by when children were getting hurt. That was the one thing that she couldn’t do. She cleared two AT-AT units before the next blaster bolt hit. It must’ve hit some sort of hidden land mine because the last thing Rey remembered was being launched back. Her ears were ringing and she couldn’t hear anything, then everything went dark.  

*** 

When Kylo found Rey, she was still awake, just barely though. He had commanded that Hux let the children go, because he hadn’t known about this raid of Corellia in the first place. If Rey had actually listened to him, she would’ve known that. Of course, she didn’t though, part of Ben knew that he didn’t deserve to be listened to after the things that he had done recently.  

Still, if she would have listened, he wouldn’t have to see her crawling away from him as he approached her. There was glass and fragments of other things in her hair, on the side of her temple, and so much blood. He wondered how she was still completely intact, pretty sure that only a miracle from the Force could keep her alive. Finally, her pain made her give in, and she passed out.  

Kylo called for her to be rushed to the medbay, much to the chagrin of Hux. He didn’t care though; it was Rey’s life that was at stake. The next few hours were spent agonizing over her being poked and prodded with tubes and needles, some of the medbots were told by Hux to replace things with robotic parts and Kylo had to veto that decision. “No unnecessary medical alterations. The only procedures you will perform at this moment will be those of the lifesaving nature.” He had to repeat this several times to make sure that no harm came to Rey. “I don’t want a tracker put in her,” He said. “That’s not necessary.”  

Finally, when the procedure was done and she was stable, he sat down and stared at Rey’s body for the longest time. She had significant damage to her right leg and right ear, all superficial wounds were fixed, but she was now deaf in one ear. Fixable by a hearing aid, Kylo would make sure that he got her one when she woke up. That wasn’t all though, head trauma could lead to any sort of outcome as to what she would be like when she woke up.  

“You should’ve listened to me.” He told her. “I told you not to go. I would’ve let them go if you just waited.” No, Rey never listened. Her being in this position was her fault.  _ Ben, please. Don’t go this way.  _ He couldn’t be blamed for her acting stupid and trying to be the hero. He wasn’t to blame. The only thing Kylo could think about were her wide, hopeful eyes when the two of them were sitting there. She was in Luke’s hut, and in a way, so was he.  

This was entirely his fault. Knowing that and trying to deny it just made him feel worse as time went by. “You need to come back.” He said. “I understand if you never want to talk to me again, but I just want you to come back. Please.” There was no way that she was going to hear him talking to her. So, he did the one thing that he never thought that he would do again. He prayed, he didn’t know to what, but he knew that if there was some divine being that could help him save her, he had to try everything. He stayed there overnight, not sleeping, half because he didn’t want to miss her waking up, and half because he had a sneaking suspicion that Hux would have her killed if she was left unattended.  

*** 

The last thing Rey remembered was being left on Jakku, her parents telling her that she would wake up one time. That was the only thing she could be sure of when her eyes fluttered open and met a dim room that certainly wasn’t on Jakku. Rey woke up in a real bed. The kind that felt like you were kind of sinking into it as you laid down. There was some sort of tubes in her arm and everything was oddly silent. Two fluffy blankets were pulled up to her chest, and when Rey tried to sit up, (pain shooting across her body in terrible fashion) she suddenly became grateful of the blanket that had been provided.  

A door that she hadn’t seen before opened and a man walked in. He was carrying a tray of medical supplies. He looked surprised when he saw her up. “You’re awake.” He said. Rey wanted to scream, to get up and fight, but she was so so tired, and for some reason she couldn’t hear him very well.  

“Who are you?” She sounded pathetic instead. He blinked, and for a second Rey thought that confusion crossed his face. Should she know him?  

“I should ask you the same thing.” He said. “I’m Ben.” 

“Rey,” She paused. “What happened?”  

“What’s the last thing you remember?”  

“Jakku, a long time ago.”  

More confusion from him. He wasn’t very good at concealing his feelings. “My ship broke down and you came by and helped me get off Jakku, told me that after you dropped me off you needed to go back. First Order shot you out of the sky.”  

“The First Order?” 

“Yeah. War criminal organization that thinks they should rule the galaxy?” Rey guessed that made sense.  

“So, you saved me.”  

“I had to. You helped me.”  

*** 

_ You almost saved me.  _ Kylo thought. It was his time to help her. 


	2. Chapter 2

Rey’s entire body hurt. She felt nauseous, but she wasn’t sure when she had eaten last. She wasn’t sure that she could get up either, to look around and see if there was something to eat somewhere. Her mix of hunger and nausea didn’t last for long though, because when Rey was considering going back to sleep, Ben walked through his door carrying another tray of medicine and a bowl of something. “I brought you some broth.” He said. “It should soothe your stomach.” Rey’s stomach seemed to growl right on time, and Ben smiled. Rey still wasn’t sure that she trusted him though. She moved back in her bed as he got closer, taking more of his appearance in than he had before. 

He was a big man, about six feet tall and built very well. The thing that Rey noticed most about him was his hair. It was blacker than the void of space, she bet that it was about as soft as the blankets she used too. He certainly wasn’t from Jakku. He had said that he crashed on Jakku, right? That seemed accurate. “You need to eat,” He told her. Rey clutched the sides of her blanket, suddenly feeling extremely cold. “What’s the matter?” 

“How do I know that you’re telling the truth? That you’re friendly.” Some sort of emotion crossed his face that Rey didn’t know how to read. 

“I don’t hurt innocent people,” He told her, “and I certainly don’t hurt people that were so ready to help me out. You patched me up and talked to me for days when I wasn’t able to get up, sacrificed your portions for me, I have no reason to hurt you. Now eat.” Rey supposed that this was the most that she was going to get from him. She shouldn’t question him too much though; he was really just trying to help her. It was unfair of her to not give him the benefit of doubt. She ate in silence, spooning the soup into her mouth fully. She only got half of it down before saying she was full. 

That’s when Ben laid out medicine for her to take. “What is this?” She was referring to each of the medicines she was supposed to take. 

“Two of these are painkillers,” He told her, “the third is to stave off any potential infections.” 

“Medicine can do that?” 

Rey wondered if she had said something wrong, because she was pretty sure that sadness came across Ben when she said that. “Yes,” He told her. “It can.” 

She took the medicine with water after that. 

***

Part of  Kylo  was sure that Rey still didn’t trust him, because when he walked into the room for a second time that day, she flinched in her bed. He could tell that she was trying to move, but the pain she was in was just too significant.  There  sh e was, a tangle of dark brown hair and wide amber doe eyes.  Kylo  stared at her as she backed up in her bed. "Do you trust me?" He asked. 

"What's in your hand?" The answer was no, that she didn’t trust him. It was good to know that even without her memories, Rey didn’t trust him. He guessed that he deserved that, though. He deserved everything he got from her. 

"A hearing  aid ." She seemed confused. “When we were talking earlier, you were leaning your left ear towards me like you couldn’t hear out of the other. Am I correct in assuming that’s why you were doing this?” She didn’t reply to that, Ben got closer, placed his hand up near her right ear and snapped. “Did you hear that?” She shook her head no. “I want to see if this would help.” She let him install it. 

“Can you hear me in this ear now?” 

“Yes,” 

“Good.” He backed up a little more and looked her up and down. She looked so small in this bed, and  Kylo  knew that this was his fault. If he had gone with her in that throne room, this would never have happened. “How are you doing?” 

“I want to go back to Jakku,” Rey told him. 

“You can’t do that,” He told her. It hurt to see her revert to things that she had said before she lost her memory. To know that she would find out the truth about her parents all over again and he would have to watch her pain once more. He hated being the source of her pain. 

“Why not?” 

“Because you’re not in the right shape to go back to  Jakku . Besides, do you really want to suffer in  Jakku  when here you have medicine,  ventilation  and consistent food?” 

“Where is here by the way?” She asked. 

“Some unmarked planet,”  Kylo  lied, “on an abandoned ship that I renovated when you were asleep.” Something told him that Rey wasn’t completely convinced by that. He kept going, “I’m not going to hurt you Rey. I can promise you that. You can ask me anything.” 

“When can I go back to Jakku?” 

“When I’m sure that I’m not giving you a death sentence by letting you go back there,” He lied. She would never go back to  Jakku .  Kylo  would burn it to the ground, along with that atrocious man,  Unkar  Plutt. Rey would never be put in harm's way because of that planet and that man again. “I’m sorry, Rey. I really am, but I’m not letting you go back there just to die a few days later.” 

“You don’t understand. My parents might come back for me.” 

“If your parents are going to come back for you, they will stop at nothing to keep looking for you and they will find you eventually. They’re not going to give up because they don’t find you the second, they get on planet.”  Kylo’s  heart was going to break. He felt dirty doing this. “Trust me, this is the best thing to do for you.” Rey didn’t see it that way. He could tell. 


End file.
